Simple rules for felines to live by...

• Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is using the computer.
   

• Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
   

• Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
   

• Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are not transparent.

• Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
   

• Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
   

• Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.

• Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's lap.
   

• Thou shalt not climb on garbage cans with hinged lids, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.
   

• Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
   

• Thou shalt not jump onto a seat just as thy human is sitting down.

• Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.
   

• Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.
   

• Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

• Thou shalt remember that thou art a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.
   

• Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.