"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it
already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR" Translated:
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I
have no idea how it works."
"I CAN'T FIND IT." Translated: "It didn't fall into
my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I
HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." Translated: "That girl standing
on the corner is a real babe."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE
ROSES." Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner
was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS -
I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Translated: "I
have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death
before I admit that I'm hurt."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Translated: "What did you
catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU." Translated: "I haven't the foggiest
clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that
I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the
next three days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD
NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." Translated: "I am used to the
way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Translated: "Oh, God, please
don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."