"I'M GOING FISHING"

Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously
stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in
my hand, while the fish swim by in
complete safety."



"IT'S A GUY THING" 

Means: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance
at all of making it logical".



"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD." 

Means: "I can't hear the game over
the vacuum cleaner."



"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" 

Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU.
IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." 

Means: "I was wondering if that redhead
over there is wearing a bra."



"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." 

Means: "Are you still talking?"



"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING" 

Means: "And I sure hope I think of some
pretty darn soon." 



"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..." 

Means: Absolutely nothing.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" 

Means: "I have no idea how it works."



"I CAN'T FIND IT." 

Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands,
so I'm completely clueless."



"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"" 

Means: "What did you catch me at?"



"I HEARD YOU." 

Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you
just said, and am hoping desperately that I
can fake it well enough so that you don't
spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." 

Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me,
and realize it could be worse." 



"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." 

Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit,
I'm starving already."



"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." 

Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."



"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." 

Means: "I make the mess, she cleans it up."

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." 

Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop',
the address of the first girl I ever kissed,
and the vehicle identification numbers
of every car I've ever owned,
but I forgot your birthday." 



"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU,
AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES" 

Means: "The girl selling them on the corner
was a real babe."



"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF,
IT'S NO BIG DEAL." 

Means: "I have actually severed a limb,
it will bleed to death before
I admit that I'm hurt."