"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously
stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in
my hand, while the fish swim by in
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance
at all of making it logical".
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Means: "I can't hear the game over
the vacuum cleaner."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU.
IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead
over there is wearing a bra."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING"
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some
pretty darn soon."
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands,
so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?""
Means: "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you
just said, and am hoping desperately that I
can fake it well enough so that you don't
spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me,
and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit,
I'm starving already."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Means: "I make the mess, she cleans it up."
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop',
the address of the first girl I ever kissed,
and the vehicle identification numbers
of every car I've ever owned,
but I forgot your birthday."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU,
AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES"
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner
was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF,
IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb,
it will bleed to death before
I admit that I'm hurt."