|
Funny
stuff heard around the office!
|
|
|
|
|
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
|
|
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
|
|
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
|
|
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
|
|
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
|
|
I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
|
|
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
|
|
My reality check bounced.
|
|
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
|
|
I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
|
|
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
|
|
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
|
|
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
|
|
A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
|
|
Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
|
|
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
|
|
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
|
|
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
|
|
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
|
|
|
|
Pass on
these funny thoughts to a friend!
|
