"Just remember, once you're over the hill,
you begin to pick up speed."
-Charles Schulz.

"Don't worry about senility,
my grandfather used to say.
'When it hits you, you won't know it'."
-Bill Cosby.

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."
-Mark Twain.

"Inside every seventy year old is a thirty five year old
asking, 'What happened?' "
-Ann Landers.

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, 
eat slowly, and lie about your age. "
-Lucille Ball.

"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, 
but they turned sixty, and it was the law."
-Jerry Seinfeld.

"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. 
It's a question of finding a sickness you like."
-Jackie Mason.

"Put cotton in your ears and pebbles in your shoes. 
Pull on rubber gloves. Smear Vaseline over your glasses, 
and there you have it: instant old age."
-Malcolm Cowley.