The Best Halloween Jokes
Why don't angry witches ride their
brooms?
They're afraid of flying off the handle
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body
What do skeletons say before they begin
dining?
Bone appetit !
Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend
What's a monster's favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet
What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a
ghost?
Bamboo
What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos
What kind of cereal do monsters eat?
Ghost-Toasties
What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and
goes quack-quack?
Count Duckula
What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween?
Twick or Tweet
Where do spooks water ski?
On Lake Erie
What happened to the guy who didn't pay
his exorcist?
He was repossessed
What does a ghost eat for lunch?
A BOO-logna sandwich
Where do mummies go for a swim?
To the dead sea
What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to
its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi
Where do ghosts buy their food?
At the ghost-ery store
Where do ghosts mail their letters?
At the ghost office
What's a ghosts favorite ride at the
carnival?
The roller ghoster
How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch
When does a skeleton laugh?
When something tickles his funny bone
Why was the mummy so tense?
He was all wound up
Where did the goblin throw the football?
Over the ghoul line
What does a skeleton orders at a
restaurant?
Spare ribs
What do goblins mail home while on
vacation?
Ghostcards
What is a ghost's favorite party game?
Hide-and-go-shriek
What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
Boo-ties!
What did the boy ghost say to the girl
ghost?
You look boo-tiful tonight
What is a ghost favorite article of
clothing?
Boojeans
What does a ghost put on his cereal in the
morning?
Boonanas and Booberries
What kind of roads do ghosts haunt?
Dead Ends
Who did the ghost invite to his party?
Anyone he could dig up!
What is a monster's favorite food?
Ghoul scout cookies
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley
Davidson motorcycle?
I'm bone to be wild!
Why does Dracula consider himself a good
artist?
Because he likes to draw blood!
When do gholes cook their victims?
On Fry Day
What's a vampire's favorite candy?
A sucker
What do you call a ghost with a broken
leg?
Hoblin Goblin
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot
and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
When does a ghost have breakfast?
In the moaning.
What do ghosts drink at breakfast?
Coffee with scream and sugar.
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch
What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Spookgetti
What's a ghosts favorite fruit?
Booberries.
What's a ghosts favorite desert?
Boo-berry pie.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
At the casketeria.
Why was the ghost such a messy eater?
Because he was always a goblin.
What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae?
Whipped scream.
What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?
Wrap!
What song does Dracula hate?
"You Are My Sunshine"
What type of monster really loves dance music?
The boogieman!
Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
Anywhere where he can boo-gie.
Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
He had no body to dance with.
What do ghosts say when something is really neat?
.Ghoul
What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
A boo-tie.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn't have a haunting license.
Where did the goblin throw the football?
Over the ghoul line.
What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?
A toasty ghosty.
What kind of makeup do goblins wear?
mas-scare-a
Who was the most famous ghost detective?
Sherlock Moans
Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
Where do most werewolves live?
Howllywood, California
Where do most goblins live?
North and South Scarolina
What do you call a little monsters parents
mummy and deady
What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.
sour-puss
What instrument do skellitens play?
Trom-BONE
Why did't the skelliten cross the road?
He had no guts
Why do vampires scare people?
They are bored to death
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a bat.
What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.
How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly
doughnuts.
How does a girl vampire flirt?
She bats her eyes.
Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?
He has a bat temper.
Who does Dracula get letters from?
His fang club.
Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
To stop his coffin.
How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Give him screws.
What can't you give the headless horseman?
A headache
Why did the headless horseman go into business?
He wanted to get ahead in life.
Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Mali-boo.
What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.
What do you call a witch's garage?
A broom closet.
Why does a witch ride a broom?
The Vacuum cleaner's poweer is cord it too
short.
What do they teach in witching school?
Spelling.
Why don't mummies take vacations?
They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend
Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the Boos
What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A Bloodhound
What do you give a vampire with a cold?
Coffin Drops!
Why did the vampire quit the baseball team?
They would only let him be BAT boy
Why didn't Dracula get married?
He never met a nice Ghoul
