"BABY FAT?"

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, "but what is growing in your butt?"

"THE PERFECT PICTURE"

When you THINK you have a bad day, remember this one from a young mother. "I was taking a shower when my 2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. "Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and put them in cards and mailed them out to relatives. A few days later one of my relatives called commenting on my picture, laughing hysterically and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!"

"MY FOOTSTEPS?"

An acquaintance of mine, who is a physician, told this story about her then four year old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

"A WISE LITTLE GIRL"

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say,"I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

"TOO ROUGH"

A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough. The little girl thought about it for a few moments, and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

"THUMB SUCKING"

A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery, to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon. "Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four year old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh...I know what you've been doing."