"Never trust a dog to watch your food."
Patrick, age 10
 
 
"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer."
Hannah, age 9
 

"Never tell your mom her diet's not working."
Michael, age 14
 

"Stay away from prunes."
Randy, age 9
 

"Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to."
Emily, age 10
 

"When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair."
Taylia, age 11
 

"Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment."
Traci, age 14
 

"A puppy always has bad breath -- even after eating a Tic-Tac."
Andrew, age 9

 

"Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time."
Kyoyo, age 9
 

"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk."
Armir, age 9
 

"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts."
Kellie, age 11
 

"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse."
Naomi, age 15
 

"Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick."
Lauren, age 9
 

"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat."
Joel, age 10
 

 "When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone."
Alyesha, age 13
 

"Never try to baptize a cat."
Eileen, age 8