Old Is When...

Your friend compliments you on your new
alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

You don't care where your spouse goes, just
as long as you don't have to go along.

A sexy babe catches your fancy and 
your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"Getting a little action" means, "I don't 
need to take any fiber today."

You are cautioned to slow down by 
the doctor instead of the police.

An "all nighter" means not getting 
up to go use the bathroom!

"Getting lucky" means you find your 
car in the parking lot.