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A pizza gets to our house faster than an ambulance.
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There are handicap parking places in the front of skating rinks.
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Drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
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People order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
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Banks leave two sets of front doors unlocked and open and then
chain their pens to the counter.
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We leave cars worth thousand of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
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We use answering machines to screen our calls and then have "call waiting" so we won't miss a call from someone we don't want to talk to in the first place.
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We buy hotdogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
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We use the word "politics" to precisely describe our crazy process: "poli" in Latin means "many" and "tics" means "bloodsucking creatures".
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We have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
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Show
your American pride by sending
this to a friend!
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