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The "Worst Job Experience"
Contest
Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy:
Rob is a commercial saturation diver. He performs
underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he
sent to his sister. She then sent it to Laughline, who was
sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she
won. Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you
to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at
the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep
warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This
$20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this
sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no
complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working,
is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This
floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made
things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled
the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I
realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a
jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any
hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the
crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my
butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless
to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing
in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could
reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I
arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub
it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the
fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 days because my butthole was
swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work,
think about how
much worse it would be if...
you had a jellyfish shoved up your
butt!!!
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